The Girls Gone Wild brand is branching out into music--to be followed, reportedly, by a clothing line, restaurant chain and major motion picture.

Until that restaurant chain opens--and I know you can't wait to be served bad food by drunk college girls--the GGW name will live on in a CD. Why is Coolfer not surprised that R Kelly will have a song on this thing? The guy was born to be a GGW spokesman. Aside from that perve----errrrrr, alleged cradle robber, there will be tracks by Petey Pablo, Eamon, E-40, Iggy Pop, Bowling for Soup, Saliva, Lil Jon and a bunch of marginal aritsts who are already a gnat's eyelash away from the Circuit City cut-out bin.

Congratulations to Jive Records for taking part in the Girls Gone Wild saga. Nice going. Coolfer fully expects this album to go down as one of the all-time lamest. It will sell, probably two million units, but this will not be spoken in the same breath is more credible party albums like the Baha Men's Who Let The Dogs Out or Smash Mouth's Fush You Mang.

Top Acts Rock For 'Girls Gone Wild' from Billboard.com

Posted by Glenn at 11:15 AM | Link
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It all depends on which side of the pond you reside.

BBC.com gave Janet's new album a great review, calling it "an impressive collection of songs." The Telegraph was even more impressed, claiming its "every bit the equal of previous benchmark 21st-century R&B releases by Kelis and Justin Timberlake."

Over here, Rolling Stone wasn't so impressed. It "smacks of trying too hard" and the spoken word interludes are "just plain weird" said Neil Strauss. The LA Times gave it a mere two and a half stars (a paid subscription required for the LA Times Calendar, so you get no link).

Coolfer's opinion? Yeah, like I'm going to bother listening to a Janet Jackson album.

Posted by Glenn at 12:15 AM | Link | Comment (3)
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Coolfer was a big fan of Creeper Lagoon back in the day--back when Ian Sefchik was still in the band. Boy, they really whipped the llama's ass real good. As good as the recent Creeper EP was, it was still Ian-less and therefore not an optimal Creeper EP.

Ian is now in On The Speakers. (That's him on the right, sporting the Members Only jacket.) They're on tour and will be playing the Mercury Lounge this Wednesday and Thursday--opening for the Sleepy Jackson both nights. Coolfer will be there Thursday. I'll be the tall, white guy, if you want to tap me on the shoulder and say hello.

Download "Could I Be Right?" MP3
Download "Share Yourself" MP3

Posted by Glenn at 12:48 PM | Link | Comment (3)
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Why? I don't know. I just feel like talking about Akufen today. He's been one of my favorite producers for a while. House. Microhouse. Minimal. Electro. Whatever. He rules. "Deck the House" always puts a smile on my face. It did just the other day, in fact.

Akufen page at Force-Inc website
Akufen profile at Allmusic
Listen to Akufen at Boomkat
Akufen discography at Discogs
Akufen at Tigersushi
Akufen at Forced Exposure
Review of My Way at BBC.com
Review of My Way at Stylus
Review of My Way at Salon
Akufen Interview
A weak review of My Way at Pitchfork

Posted by Glenn at 12:48 PM | Link
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Sam Champion's Noah Chernin could win a Steven Malkmus sound-a-like contest with one tonsil tied behind his back. And to be honest, the way he plays a guitar solo sounds a bit familar, too. But that's not a problem, since Coolfer is a big Malkmus/Pavement fan and anything that resembles the Grand Master from Stockton is just dandy. Think Pavement covering CCR. Nice combo.

If you're in the LES on Friday, April 9th, see Sam Champion at the Luna Lounge. It's free, for Pete's sake.

Sam Champion home
Download "Company Dance" MP3
Download "It's Getting Late" MP3

Posted by Glenn at 11:31 AM | Link
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While browsing Ebay, I ran across this item: Jake Trout and the Flounders's I Love To Play. The band was comprised of three pro golfers: Peter Jacobsen, Payne Stewart and Mark Lye. There are lot of guests on the album as well, such as avid golfer Bill Murray, Stephen Stills, Leonard Nimoy, avid golfer Alice Cooper, Kevin Cronin and John Daly.

It is, by the way, one of the worst albums Coolfer has ever heard.

There are currently 17 bids on this out-of-print album. Current bid stands at $100. On Amazon, the asking price is as high as $59.99.

Unbelievable!

Posted by Glenn at 11:25 AM | Link
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...but doesn't walk the walk.

"Everyone is in bed with everyone in the industry," said Korn's Jonathan Davis to Billboard.com. "One corporation owns all the video channels, one corporation owns all the radio stations, and all the venues we play at are also the promoters. It's a whole monopoly. They basically deem what kids are going to hear."

Korn's video for the song "Y'all Want A Single" is a statement against corporate media monopolies and the control they have on what music Americans hear. As a music store is destroyed by rampaging band members and fans, messages roll across the screen. "One corporation owns the five major video channels in the U.S."; "98% of the bands signed to a major don't make a profit"; "Two radio conglomerates control 42% of listeners"; "The music industry releases 100 songs per week."

The song is a favorite of Howard Stern, who in his period of martyrdom has latched onto its theme. A remix of the song featuring Stern can be found at the Korn website (and at press time has been downloaded almost 23,000 times).

Coolfer can do without all the posturing and anti-corporate bellyaching from guys who are on the corporate payroll, who for ten years have benefitted from the very same market powers they're now speaking out against. Yes, radio has seen a lot of consolidation over the years, and it's helped Korn. Yes, music retail is moving away from independent stores to mass merchant outlets, but how many albums do you think Korn has sold at Wal-Mart? Ideals are one thing, but building a career is quite another.

Memo to Korn: You're on Epic Records, which is part of the Sony Corporation, which--in case you don't read the annual reports--is one rather massive multinational corporation. You owe everything to Epic Records for nuturing you from a bunch of nobodies from the backwoods of Bakersfield, California, into legitimate superstars. It's way, way, way too late to speak out against media monopolies. This dialogue should have taken place in 1994.

If you're going to act rebellious, why not get out of bed with Sony? If you've got a legitimate gripe with how your parent company--and the partners of your parent company--does business, put your money where your mouth is: Go to an indie and take greater ownership of your band's business operations. Others have done it. Why don't you?

Korn Takes Aim At Music 'Monopolies' from Billboard.com

Posted by Glenn at 11:30 AM | Link | Comment (6)
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Coolfer would like to nominate John Leventhal (producer, pictured), Chris Lord-Alge (mixing) and Jeff Rothschild (engineer) for the Nobel Prize for studio wizardry.

Why?

After the Kings/Lakers blowout finally ended (I don't want to hear it, Leafblower!), I flipped over to Conan O'Brien and saw Michelle Branch perform. She...was...terrible! She was a little bit of cute and a little bit backed by a solid band, but she turned Conon O'Brien into open mic night at the local college town beer hall. I thought to myself, whoever recorded and glossed up her last album, Hotel Paper, should win some kind of award. If they could make that sound even somewhat decent, they are truly magicians. She was off-key, had next to no presence and the song sounded thin and aimless.

And that kiss-ass was wearing a wife-beater that read "I (heart) Conan." Lame.

Posted by Glenn at 10:01 AM | Link | Comment (2)
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...but maybe there's something to look forward to?

The Guardian covers a new round of female MC's, such as Lady Sovereign (pictured), Lady C and Mizz Red.

A hungry rapper is a good rapper. Check Lady Sovereign's quote: "I've got no education, I got kicked out of school, I've got nothing to fall back on but I don't want to fall back. This is all I want to do."

Watch out, Northern State.

'I'm a white midget. So what?' from the Guardian
NME buzz on Lady Sovereign's single "Blah Blah Blah"
Lady Sovereign interview at 2Step-Garage.co.uk

Posted by Glenn at 1:08 AM | Link | Comment (5)
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Have album reviews been on a downward trend recently? It's not as if I've just recently noticed that music critics talk about everything but the actual merits of the album being reviewed; this has gone on for years--if not decades. I remember reading a review of Rollerskate Skinny's Horsedrawn Wishes and having a flashback to an upper-divison sociology class I once took. Not once did the review say if it was a good or bad or average album. There was a lot of scholastic mumbo jumbo and tons of beating around the bush. Hey, just say if it's worth my money, OK? That's why people read these things, to find out if the album's a waste of money. But I've noticed it a lot lately. Especially in the Village Voice. Geeta Dayals' review of the new Liars's record, for example, left me wondering where on a scale of one to whatever it ranked. At the end of a non-commital review, Dayal ends with: "Unable to stem the messy tide on its own, the album dishes out equal parts signal and noise, leaving it to the listener to sort out the goods." No, the reader is left to sort out the goods. The listener already owns the album and knows if it's good or bad.

For once, can somebody put in words, without room for interpretation, whether or not an album is good or bad? Use whatever Roget-approved synonym you want, but at the end of the review I would love to have a good feeling on the album's artistic worth. Too much to ask? I hope not.

Maybe it's me. I don't know. And to any music critics reading this, I completely understand that this isn't a black-and-white issue. Not every album can simply be exhaulted as good or knocked as bad. But, for the sake of readers everywhere, how about throwing in an adjective every now and again?

On a similar thread, a lot of album reviews discuss the financial implications of the band's album and contract and net per-night merchandise sales at concerts. Not only do music critics gauge--or not gauge, unfortunately--the quality of an album, but they take the opportunity to play armchair A&R guy. 'Oh, I never would have signed this band to such a huge contract,' they'll rumble. 'This has no chance of going platinum. It's the best album I've heard in 18 months, but it won't sell a million units, that's for sure. What were the suits at the label thinking? You can put a monkey in that executive's suit, stick him in a chair, give him Blackberry and that monkey will sign better talent than the guy who cleared this album for production.'

The Onion's recent review of Franz Ferdinand's debut was just as concerned about predicting the future chart position and impact of the band as it was talking about its qualities. (Let me just say that Coolfer if guilty of this as well, though these thoughts are more op-ed than album review banter.) "The problem of translating massive waves of British hype into American sales has long puzzled the U.K. rock machine," it starts out. "For every Coldplay, there's an Elbow, a South, a Gay Dad, a Cast, and a Kula Shaker wondering how such a deafening roar of approval could be so dim just an ocean away."

Then writer Josh Modell makes his prediction: "Prepare...for a potentially lukewarm hello." And a bold precition it is! Good thing he's not on Sony's board of directors.

Continue reading "Album Reviewers: Get To The Point" »

Posted by Glenn at 12:01 AM | Link | Comment (3)
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It seems kind of silly that this kind of thing is news, but I have a quota to fill here, so I've gotta mention it.

The Strokes signed autographs outside their hotel in Mexico City. Once you've caught your breath, check out the photos here.

(Via Rockdirt)

Posted by Glenn at 2:26 PM | Link | Comment (1)
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Thanks to Catchdubs for the link to this hot, hot Ebay item: a collection of Brit Pop titles, all on cassette. My winning bid: $1.99. Yes, Coolfer has a cassette player and isn't afraid to use it.

Frankly, I'm surprised there wasn't more competition for these fine cassettes. For two bucks? You can't beat the price.

Titles: EMF's Stigma; Blur's Leisure; Happy Monday's Pills, Thrills and Bellyaches; The Smiths' Louder Than Bombs; Curve's Doppelganger (believe it or not I already have this on cassette) and Pubic Fruit; Jesus Jones' Doubt; and Lush's Spooky and Gala.

Hot.

Posted by Glenn at 1:01 PM | Link | Comment (3)
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Why is Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban chiming in about the music industry--and getting quoted by the AP? Coolfer isn't sure. But in this USA Today article about a meeting of the minds in Austin, the best quote was by the always quotable Don VanCleave, president of the Coalition of Independent Music Stores, speaking on the record store's relevance in a digital world: "All that content is out there but nobody's telling people what to listen to, what's next, what to buy, what to download. You can have millions of choices, but without some kind of a filter it's very tough to get turned onto anything new."

Actress Minnie Driver has waited over a decade to reveal her true calling: singing. She will perform at the Trampoline Records showcase at SXSW and will be grovelling for a record deal. (MTV.com)

At a SXSW show, two members of Ozomotli were arrested after a scuffle with police. The band's performance spilled out onto the street, the police told them to go back to the club and then out came the pepper spray.

The Austin Stateman's John Ratcliff has a SXSW blog. It could be one of the most boring blogs Coolfer has ever read. If I were to give him some pointers (being a blogger I think it is my right to do so) it would be this: Get to the point!

SXSW concert reviews at the Austin Statesman. Brian Jonestown Massacre. Sleepy Jackson. Ted Leo. The Thrills. Josh Rouse. Preston School of Industry. Aesop Rock. B-52's. Mission of Burma. Little Richard. TV on the Radio. Sons and Daughters. Seachange.

Posted by Glenn at 6:29 PM | Link | Comment (1)
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Watch these on your next coffee break:

The Killer's "Somebody Told Me" (via Yentell). That's them on the right. Good music, bad photo.

Cat Power on Letterman (via Largehearted Boy)

Leb Laze videoette (from Eastern Developments website)

Posted by Glenn at 10:20 AM | Link
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Who is the next Nirvana? And who are the next Candlebox?

MSN prompted all this hullaballoo. So let's hash this out:

- The Vines are not the next Nirvana.
- Who will be the next Nirvana? Nobody knows. How can you possibly predict that? Coolfer does know it's gonna take another ten years for a band to match's Nirvana's musical and social impact.
- Information Leafblower wonders whether Jet or the Vines will be the next Candlebox. Coolfer thinks Jet might be the next Black Crowes, but unsure if they'll turn into a bunch of hippies.
- The next Jet? My money says it will be the 22/20s.
- Who are the next Strokes? Why can't we say the Vines will be the next Strokes and not the next Nirvana? Personally, I think Puddle of Mudd sounds like Nirvana as much as the Vines do.
- Franz Ferdinand is the next...what?
- Maroon 5 is the new Smash Mouth. Or the new Sugar Ray. Take your pick.

Posted by Glenn at 4:33 PM | Link | Comment (4)
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Coolfer skipped last night's Athlete (pictured) show at the Merc to sit home and watch the Kings get Von Bondied by the Nets. I guess I'm just not a big enough Anglophile to drag myself away from a Kings basketball game. And what a pitiful game it was.

I'm slow to figure out Athlete's cheery, Mercury Prize-nominated, Steely Dan-for-the-hip-crowd music. It took me four or five listens to get into it. Kinda enjoying it now. Still on the fence, though.

Speaking of the dreaded Mercury Lounge (crappy sound, always too crowded, takes forever to get a drink), Brendan Benson is playing April 13th and 14th. Do...not...miss it!

Posted by Glenn at 11:45 AM | Link | Comment (1)
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Leave it to MSN to write the most ridiculous things. "Are The Vines the next Nirvana?" they ask.

Survey says: No! Maybe the new Candlebox. Have you heard the song "F**k The World"? So very meager.

Note to MSN and all other out-of-touch music wanks: stop comparing bands to Nirvana.

The Vines at MSN.com

Posted by Glenn at 3:17 PM | Link | Comment (5)
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Coolfer just finished listening to the Leslie Feist vocal version of Broken Social Scene's "Lover's Spit" when I stumbled upon two new tracks at Said The Gramaphone (via Fluxblog). Leslie, who goes by Feist as a solo artist, is best known around these parts as a member of the expansive BSS collective. She adds a lot to BSS's live shows, and Coolfer just loves her solo material. I don't throw around hyperbole very often, but I can honestly say this is the most talented woman most people have never heard of.

A solo album is coming soon. Amazon France currently has it listed, and if my French-via-Spanish is correct, it is currently for sale. Last Coolfer heard the U.S. rights hadn't been worked out yet.

Feist: "Mushaboom"
Feist: "When I Was A Young Girl"
A Feist page, in French.

Posted by Glenn at 12:46 PM | Link
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Just what you need for a snowy Tuesday: a Franz Ferdinand/Kelis mash-up.

(Via the mighty Catchdubs)

Posted by Glenn at 10:40 AM | Link | Comment (1)
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Congratulations are in order for the newest batch of Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees. Last night's ceremony at the Waldorf Astoria ushered in:

- one of the Fab Four, George Harrison;
- the guy who sold out to Chevy back when it really was called selling out, Bob Segar;
- a guy who I saw play an Isla Vista, CA park while all us students threw corn tortillas into the air (he actually got nailed in the face by an errant tortilla), Jackson Browne;
- the former publisher of Rolling Stone, Jann Wenner;
- that little guy from Minneapolis (no, not Tommy Stinson), Prince;
- one of Steve Winwood's bands, Traffic;
- a band formed in the '50s that is still performing today, the Dells;
- the band whose beard-less drummer has the last name of Beard, ZZ Top.

Price had some reflective comments in his induction speech. He spoke of his desire for artistic freedom, and thanked Warner Bros. for finally giving him that freedom. But he warned against having too much freedom, and added, "And a word to the young artists: a real friend and mentor is not on your payroll."

Bruce Springsteen introduced Jackson Browne and enviously bemoaned the fact that Browne used to attract way more women to his shows than did the E Street Band. "While the E Street Band and I were sweating our asses off for hours just to put some fannies in the seats, Jackson is drawing more women than an Indigo Girls show!"

And just for fun, let's revisit Eddie Vedder's rambling introduction speech when the Ramones were inducted.

Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Inducts 2004 Class from Billboard.com
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducts a handful of heavies from the Houston Chronicle
Prince reigns at hall of fame inductions from CNN.com

Posted by Glenn at 10:30 AM | Link
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